Mr. Spock explains the Left-Right Paradigm

Captain, the visitors from the planet we've been studying have arrived.





Show them in.

Captain, I demand you arrest him. His kind are on the verge of destroying our world. They are crippling our economic systems through wild spending on social programs, criticizing and even regulating the very businesses that provide livelihoods to our citizens out of existence! His kind wants to control our health care system, our educational system, and has every labor union on the take for his kind. If this doesn't stop, our world   will descend into chaos!
What a crock! You know very well that your kind has also supported centralized medicine and education, not to mention unconstitutional wars that cost fortunes. Don't play innocent here. Besides you know good and well that my kind have nothing against big businesses as they fund us heavily.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a anthropologist or political scientist. Can someone please tell me what in the sam hill is going on here? These people are from the same race and they're fighting like cats and dogs.      


                                                                                                                                   

The same race? The same race? Don't you see? His people are all dark on the right side, the right side. Don't you see the racist gleam in his eye? Can't you tell that his blood runs cold because he only has a heart of stone? He probably sleeps on a mattress stuffed with cash 'cause he doesn't want to pay his fair share.                                                                                                                                                                                         

Oh, please- haven't you done enough creating and promoting cycles of poverty with your wretched entitlement programs? Listen, lefty, you've done enough harm belittling our great capitalist institutions and taxing the lifeblood out of our nation. Oh, and your a bad person because you don't support the troops.

Support the troops? I support the troops by supporting the Constitution and insisting that wars be declared accordingly. Of course whenever a lefty is president, he of course has the moral authority to do what needs to be done. Don't try to change the subject you bourgeois righty, your unfettered laissez-faire capitalism will be the doom of us all!

I'm so sick of your whining! Your political correctness aka thought control has gone far enough.Why can't you be proud of humanity? Why are you always looking for more problems? Oh, I get it. It's so you can fix the problem with another government program that you can hire your nephew into. Nice.



Mr. Spock. Analysis.

It would appear, captain, that the rulers of this world, in a quest to gain complete financial and political domination, enacted what is called the Hegelian Dialectic. This was begun many decades ago and was accomplished by gaining control of this world's educational system, along with other subversive techniques. Dividing the populace into parties enables the rulers to "play both sides against the middle". In any case, the people of this world are unable to come to a rational conclusion about their fate, which will ultimately end in a totalitarian world government. According to the documents and correspondence of this ruling elite class, this is their ultimate goal and they have been waiting a very long time to attain it. One government controlled by them. One currency that they manipulate. One massive slave population to rule over. All with absolutely no accountability. Quite ingenious, actually.



Hey buddy, where's your tinfoil hat? That's about the craziest thing I've ever heard!



  
Yeah, only dweebs believe that kind of stuff! Hahahahaha!




 Fascinating!